


Earth's Greatest Defender

by shazel64



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Death, F/M, Flashbacks, Heavy Angst, Past Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Tony is dead, all avengers attend tony's funeral, all avengers revengers and guardians are alive and well, married pepper and tony, pepper adopts, post Avengers 4, tony's funeral
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-02
Updated: 2018-06-02
Packaged: 2019-05-17 05:16:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14825999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shazel64/pseuds/shazel64
Summary: Pepper deals with the loss of Tony during his funeral.





	Earth's Greatest Defender

**Author's Note:**

> I have so many notes.
> 
> 1\. This is post Avengers 4. My vague and horribly put together idea was that Tony sacrificed himself to save everyone. In this fic, Tony is the only one that died defeating Thanos.  
> 2\. There is no mention of the way Tony died. This fic is mostly about others processing Tony's death from the perspective of Pepper.  
> 3\. I have Pepper and Tony as married in this fic, only because I felt like it would sting a bit more.  
> 4\. I know a lot of people were expecting Pepper to be pregnant in this fic, but I always thought Tony would prefer adoption over anything else. I also don't think Pepper would want to give up her job as CEO at all, even if only for maternity leave. She's sort of a workaholic.  
> 5\. Peter and Harley are seen as Tony's sons in this fic. Both are at the funeral, even though I never got the chance to mention Harley.  
> 6\. The only people exempt from the funeral are: Loki and Bucky. I figured Loki wouldn't feel welcome, and Bucky would pretty much be in the same vein.  
> 7\. I just kind of made the vague assumption that Infinity War happened, and then Tony and everyone left worked tirelessly to come up with an idea to defeat Thanos. The plan was executed, everyone was brought back, but Tony died in the process. This timeline is extremely rocky. Please don't judge me. I just wanted to write some Tony angst.  
> 8\. There's no body. Don't ask me why. I don't fucking know why.  
> 9\. I'm obviously a Tony stan so I'm sorry if my dislike for Steve sort of bleeds into this fic.  
> 10\. I wrote Tony as extremely broken after the events of CW because that's how I always perceived him to feel. I firmly believe that in proper time Tony will forgive Steve because that's just who Tony is, but for this fic I wanted Tony's forgiveness towards Steve to feel rushed. I wanted to show how Tony blames himself for literally everything and that it would take a lot of time and therapy for Tony to properly realize that CW wasn't (all) his fault and that what Steve did to him is damn near unforgivable. I tried to demonstrate that through Pepper's reaction to Steve being there and in her flashback.
> 
> I think that's everything. Please enjoy.

Pepper woke up to a cold and empty bed. It had officially been twelve days since Tony-- since he had left. Twelve agonizing days. Pepper had become robotic. Get up, shower, get dressed, eat breakfast that Rhodey would make, go for a walk, eat lunch, relax at home, work, eat dinner, sleep. It was simple and it kept her busy enough to keep her mind off of what had happened. Unfortunately, today would not be an easy day. Today was the day that she would have to face the truth. Today was Tony’s funeral.

A gentle knock resounded from behind her door, and Rhodey’s head appeared. “Hey Pepper. I thought you might want some help today.” He stepped through the doorway, closing the door gently behind him.

Pepper stared up at him from where she was laying, feeling beaten down before she had even left the bed. She had met Rhodey the moment she had met Tony. The two had been inseparable, and Rhodey had quickly joined her makeup Protect Tony Stark Task Force. The two of them had become very close, and Pepper now considered Rhodey her best friend also. Rhodey had offered to stay with her in her house, keep her company, help out with anything she might need. She had quickly accepted; Pepper had never been one to turn down a helping hand.

Pepper took Rhodey’s outstretched hand and slowly pulled herself up. She shifted, placing her feet onto the cold floor. Rhodey sat down next to her, and they still held hands. Pepper squeezed, “he’s really gone, Rhodey.” She whispered, and it felt like her entire world was crumbling around her. She hadn’t thought about it at all. She had tucked it away and ignored it and had pretended it had never happened. She had imagined that Tony was just gone for a bit, working on something at Avengers Tower, or maybe spending time with Harley. But now, now the reality of the situation was really setting in. Tony Stark, the love of her life, her best friend in the whole world, was gone. He was dead, and he wasn’t coming back. There had been no last words, no solemn goodbye, no tearful kisses. Tony hadn’t cracked a joke to make her smile before leaving. He had just been gone. Just like that, his existence had been blinked out. Pepper didn’t know how to feel. It still felt fake, like a product of her nightmares. Tony couldn’t really be gone. It was Tony. He never died. Not after Afghanistan, not after the wormhole and Loki’s minions, not after Ultron, not even after being stranded in Siberia with no way to contact her. He had survived. He had made it back to her every single time, without fail. Not this time. Not this one.

“I miss him too, Pepper.”

Of course. She hadn’t been the only one to lose someone. Rhodey had lost his best friend, his brother. He had lost Tony Stark too. She dragged her thumb across his Rhodey’s thumb in a way of silent comfort. Rhodey was all she had now. Everyone else was gone.

Pepper stood up from the bed, and Rhodey got up with her. “I’m just going to shower. You should do the same.” Rhodey scans her face, and she can tell that he’s looking for a sign. A sign that she might not be as okay as she’s making herself out to be, but Pepper isn’t trying to hide anything. He eventually nods, slowly releasing her hand and making his way out of her room. She lets out a small sigh when the door clicks shut behind him.

The funeral is set for ten o’clock. Pepper has always been on time to everything in her life, but right now she wouldn’t mind acting like Tony and being a few hours late. She thinks he would like that. She walks to the bathroom, undressing and stepping into the shower that now feels much too empty. Her back is cold without Tony holding her from behind. She hates it, but this is how it’ll be now. With everything. Every single little thing will remind her of Tony, of what she’s lost. Pepper isn’t sure if she can handle it. She washes quickly, wasting no time. She doesn’t want to break down in the shower. That’s just downright embarrassing.

Once she gets out, she dries off and chooses an outfit. She knows there will be cameras, so she grabs a veil too. When she looks in the mirror, she looks way too much like a grieving widow for her tastes. But that’s who she is now. Even when dead, Tony is defining her life.

Happy is driving, and Rhodey is sat beside her. He’s in his crisp, military uniform, a blank look rests upon his face. She wonders what he’s thinking about.

The car coasts to a stop, and she waits for Happy to open the door for her. She lets herself be led through the dense crowd of photographers and other people mourning Tony’s death and the inevitable protesters. The people who had hated Tony since he had been CEO of Stark Industries.

* * *

\- Flashback -

“Pep, do you think they’ll ever forgive me?” Tony asked. She had frowned, and had gripped his hand a little tighter. Pepper rounded on him, taking off his colored sunglasses so she could look him in the eyes. She had scanned his face. The slight frown, and the sadness. The endless sadness in his eyes as he stared at the crowd of angry faces.

“No, but that isn’t your fault, Tony. Not everyone is ready to forgive you, and you just have to live with it. I know it seems terrible, but everyone grieves in different ways. As long as you forgive yourself, that’s all that matters.” And he had finally looked at her, looked at her with that sadness.

“I don’t think I’ll ever forgive myself, Pep. I’m sorry.”

\- End Flashback -

* * *

 

“Pepper? Hey, Pepper. Are you okay?” Pepper stared up at the faces of Rhodey and Happy above her. Rhodey had both of his hands on her shoulders, and she was settled into a chair nearest to the casket. Rhodey had that concerned look on his face again. She recognized it as the one he used to give to Tony all the time. That thought made her stomach twist.

“Yeah. I’m just… overwhelmed. Sit down, Happy.” Pepper patted the empty chair next to her, and Happy sat, automatically draping his arm across the back of her chair. She appreciated the silent comfort. Rhodey was to give the eulogy, as Pepper was unable to do it herself. She couldn’t. She just-- no, she wasn’t ready. She wasn’t ready. Rhodey pulled back, nodding to Happy. A silent gesture, ‘keep her safe.’ Pepper appreciated that too. Then Rhodey was gone, making his way up next to the grave in front of everyone. This was the public procession, and everyone else that was close to Tony would be here much later. That was when it was her turn to speak. Rhodey took the microphone that had been set up, and he cleared his throat.

“Hello everyone. If you don’t know me, my name is James Rhodes. I was Tony Stark’s best friend, and I was Iron Man’s wingman.” Pepper watched as Rhodey gripped the mic a little tighter, and tensed his shoulders a bit more. “Anthony Edward Stark was a great man. He was a hero, a friend, a father, a husband,” his eyes travelled to Pepper, “and a brother. Tony was the greatest man I had ever met. Not just because of his mind, but because of his heart. Tony, above all else, cared. He cared deeply about everyone, whether he knew them or not. Some would even call him Earth’s Greatest Defender. As we all know, Tony gave his life for the protection of Earth. We are gathered here today to remember him, to honor him, and to finally let him rest. Ever since Afghanistan, Tony had worked tirelessly to protect, improve, and to ensure the safety of Earth and all of its inhabitants. Tony didn’t believe he was a hero, but he is. I’m sure everyone here knows that.” Rhodey looks to the picture of Tony that they had chosen. “I love you, Tony. You are the greatest man I have ever known. Thank you all for coming.” He swallows hard, setting the microphone back into its stand before rejoining Pepper. Pepper immediately takes his hand.

“That was beautiful, Rhodey.” They both stare at each other for just a minute, revelling in their sorrow. People begin to come up to all three of them, offering their condolences, shaking their hands. It almost seems like a procession.

“Sorry for your loss, ma’am,” says a little boy. He looks no older than seven. He’s all crooked teeth and wild hair. He holds out a small hand, shaking Pepper’s hand. The boy’s hair is brown, with dark brown eyes. With a small jolt, Pepper realizes he looks a hell of a lot like Tony when he was this age. The kid looks a little more scraggly, obviously not well kempt like Tony usually was, but he looks like Tony. He looks so much like Tony that for a second Pepper is totally stunned into silence. Then, “Tony?” The little boy looks perplexed, but he nods.

“How did you know my name?” He asks, tilting his head preciously. Pepper swallows hard, trying her damndest not to start sobbing.

“I guessed,” she lies, finally releasing the little boy’s hand. He lets his hand drop to his side. Then he looks to his left, looks to his right, and then leans in and hugs her. Pepper immediately reciprocates. The tears start to fall, now, and she doesn’t try to stop them.

“Don’t cry, Mrs. Stark. It’ll all be okay soon.” Then he’s gone. Pepper doesn’t see him again after he disappears into the crowd. Afterwards, she wonders if she imagined it all. The crowd eventually disperses, and the workers come. They’ll move the empty casket to the grave. They’ll bury it. Pepper will start to have to come to terms with his death, even though she doesn’t want to. They fold the chairs up, leaving only enough for the next, much smaller crowd that is coming.

Hours later, Pepper, Rhodey, and Happy still all stand around Tony’s grave. Tony’s actual grave. His real grave. Pepper wants to sink to her knees. She wants to scream, sob, yell about how unfair it all is. Tony was the best man she had ever known, yet he was still taken from her. He was still killed, brutally, horrifically, sacrificing himself for an Earth that didn’t even properly appreciate him. Some part of her wanted to hate Tony. He had gone out there and became a superhero, became an Avenger. Why? For what? For who? But she knew better. Tony had done it for everyone, because, like Rhodey had said, he cared. Sometimes Pepper thinks he cared too much, but that was Tony for you. He couldn’t stop his empathy, even when it made him hurt.

The private funeral is finally starting. The first people to join them are the Parkers. Peter’s eyes are red rimmed, and there are dark circles under his eyes. May already has a tissue, and Pepper catches her dabbing at her eyes more than once since they’ve arrived. She greets them civilly, but seeing Peter is a little difficult for her. Tony used to talk to her about him all the time.

* * *

\- Flashback -

“Pep, this kid is amazing. Once you meet him I promise you’re going to love him. He’s brilliant. Top of his class, complete science nerd. Pep, he literally explained my tech back to me. Isn’t that amazing?” Tony smiled at her, wide and excited, full of unexpected warmth and pride. Pepper had smiled back, feeling excited simply because of how excited Tony was feeling.

“That’s great, Tony. A real mini you. I’m happy you found him. His name is Peter Parker, right?” Tony nodded, a smile still plastered on his face.

“I’m gonna help him, Pep. I’m going to help him be better than I ever was. I want-- I want him to be better.” Tony’s smile had lessened a bit here, as he had grown solemn thinking about his and Peter’s future. Pepper had reached out, ran her hand through his hair. She had drawn him back in, and Tony smiled again.

“I believe in you, Tony.”

\- End Flashback -

* * *

 

“He loved you, Peter, as he would love his own son.” This just seems to make the boy deflate even further, and Pepper can see he’s crying again. She steps forward, embracing Peter in a tight hug. “His death is not your fault. It isn’t any of our faults. I want you to remember that, Peter.” The boy sniffles, and Pepper can feel her shoulder growing a bit damp. She doesn’t care; she just holds Peter a little tighter. After a few more seconds, Pepper pulls away, but she still holds Peter by the shoulders. “It is okay to mourn. Take all the time you need to be okay again. And come by the house sometimes. I’d like to see you both.” Pepper smiles, and Peter nods.

“Thank you, Mrs. Stark.” This time the name doesn’t sting as much as it did before. Peter and May both step away, going to mingle a bit with the slowly growing crowd.

Pepper begins to scan the crowd, picking out person after person that she recognizes, and some that she doesn’t. She assumes that she’ll meet them soon.

The next person to approach her is Steve Rogers. The air between the two of them is tense, awkward. This is officially the first time Pepper has seen Steve Rogers since directly after Ultron. Part of her wants to slap him, slap him for the pain he put Tony through. When Tony had first gotten back from Siberia, he hadn’t talked to her at all. He had been bruised and battered. She had sent him directly to the hospital. He had a fractured wrist, bruises covered his body despite him wearing the suit for the majority of the fight. Doctors said he had a concussion, very slight hypothermia due to being stranded in Siberia for a few hours. There were plenty of cuts on his face, not to mention the huge bruise under his eye. Tony had eventually told her that Bucky Barnes had gifted him with that shiner. Pepper thinks back to the first night of Tony being back since the fight.

* * *

\- Flashback -

They were both lying in bed beside each other, completely silent. Tony was just staring up at the ceiling, lost in his own thoughts. Pepper watched him stare up at the ceiling in silence for almost ten minutes before she eventually cracked. She reached out across the small space between them, setting her hand gently on Tony’s chest. The man startled, and Pepper watched as his eyes slowly refocused, refocused on her. Her gaze was full of concern. Pepper had no clue as to what had actually gone down between Steve and Tony. Rhodey refused to tell her, even Peter had been sworn to silence, if he even knew to begin with. Tony had barely said more than five words to her, and they had been together again for an entire day at this point. She was worried sick, and was tired of waiting for Tony to finally open up to her. “Tony,” she whispered, voice sad. “Please talk to me. Tell me what happened. I’m here for you, Tony.” Tony’s eyes had been dark that whole day, full of pain so strong Pepper had had a hard time looking at him.

“He knew something, Pep. About my parents. Steve had known all about how they died, how they  _ really _ died. Not the bullshit lie I had been given.” Tony looks away from her, back to the ceiling. “The Winter Soldier assassinated my parents.”

“Bucky Barnes? But Tony I thought-”

“No Pep. Not Bucky. It… it wasn’t Bucky’s fault.” Tony lets out a bone weary sigh, as if he’s thought about this particular thing many, many times before. “Steve knew the truth. He’s known the truth about my parents for years, Pep, but he never told me. I had-- I had to watch a video of them being killed. It was too much. I wasn’t even thinking clearly. I just attacked Bucky and then Steve jumped in to protect him. I was so angry, so betrayed. I trusted him. I trusted him with everything, Pep. I just don’t understand why he didn’t trust me too.” Tony falls silent, and Pepper tries not to show how horrified she feels. Tony had to watch his parents die in front of him? His parents killer mere feet away at the time? Pepper just can’t believe it. She had thought Steve was Tony’s friend, and then Steve went and attacked Tony. He attacked him and almost killed him and left him for dead. Now Pepper was angry.

After that night, nearly a month had passed when Tony finally brought up Steve again. This time they were on the couch, just laying together after a peaceful night. Tony was running his hand through her hair. Pepper hadn’t thought of Steve since that night.

“I think I forgive him.”

Pepper’s brow had furrowed as she wracked her brain for who Tony was talking about. Then, it clicked. She had bolted up, almost accidentally knocking Tony in the chin in the process. “Steve Rogers? Tony, he almost killed you.” She had argued. A frown had quickly taken over her once peaceful face.

“Pep, he’s my friend, and Bucky is also his friend. It wasn’t Steve’s fault for trying to protect him. I shouldn’t hold that against him.”

Pepper had stared and stared, but Tony’s answer seemed set. He really had forgiven him. Oh Tony, Pepper had thought, how is it possible you forgive everyone but yourself? But she hadn’t said this to him. She had simply nodded, and laid back down on his chest, feeling a bit troubled. Pepper had never gotten around to forgiving Steve like Tony apparently had.

\- End Flashback -

* * *

 

“I’m sorry for your loss.” Steve finally says, breaking the tense silence. “Tony was a great man. I am proud to have fought alongside of him.” And Pepper just stares, face carefully neutral. She studies him carefully, searching him for what she wants to know. Ah, there. The guilt. So he does know, she thinks. She wonders if Tony and Steve talked before Tony died. Steve doesn’t move, but he also isn’t waiting for her response.

“Did he talk to you? Before he died, did he say anything to you?” The question seems to surprise Steve, and his shoulders tense a bit.

“Yes. He told me he forgave me. For Siberia. He told me that he was the one who was sorry about what had happened between us, as if it was actually his fault. I never got to tell him that I was sorry.”

Pepper swallows hard, “are you sorry?”

Steve looks directly at her, eyes as truthful as possible. “Immensely.”

Pepper nods, wipes at the tears that are falling from her eyes. “Then forgive yourself. That’s what Tony would want for you. He’s always wanted the people around him to be better than he was, and he never learned to forgive himself. If you want, do it for him.” Steve stares down at her. As silent as a soldier, he nods. He shakes Rhodey’s hand, still silent, and he leaves, melting back into the crowd. Pepper thinks she might forgive him one day.

Pepper turns to Rhodey, “I’m ready.” She tells him. He nods, moving away from her as he begins to ask everyone to quiet down. Everyone does as Rhodey asks, settling into the chairs in front of Pepper as she prepares to speak. She hadn’t bothered to try and write a little eulogy out. Pepper had been in almost complete denial up until today. Even now, everything felt vaguely fake. She isn’t sure if this is some terrible nightmare, or if this is all actually real. She feels almost unhinged, but Pepper knows that all she has to do is get through this. All she has to do is stay mildly put together for the next hour, and then she can go home with Rhodey and Happy and she can cry all she wants.

“Thank you all for coming,” is her slow start. What can she possibly say? She’s lost her husband, her best friend, her Tony. What words can possibly encompass how she feels at the moment? So Pepper decides to start there. “There are no words for how we all must feel right now. I know for a fact that I cannot even begin to explain how I feel. Tony was… the most complicated man I have ever known. I know that most of you must understand what I mean when I say that Tony was incredibly hard to understand, hard to get along with at times, even hard to tolerate, especially at first, but Tony changed. When he came back from Afghanistan, I almost didn’t recognize him. He was definitely a changed man. Then Tony became an Avenger. He put his heart and soul into the Avengers Tower, into equipment for most of you, into his role as an Avenger. He fully embraced it, and he loved it. Tony loved every single one of you. He would tell me stories about you all, about the times you’ve spent together. I know Tony, and trust me when I say that he wouldn’t want any of you to blame yourselves. He would want you all to understand that he did what he did to protect Earth, but more importantly to protect us. To protect his family. Tony Stark was the bravest man I had ever met. He had risked his own safety time and time again to protect me, and I’m sure a lot of you have that same experience. I guess we all just hope that Tony really is in a better place now, that he’s finally at rest. He deserves it.” And she stops, and she breathes, in then out, and Pepper walks forward. Rhodey stands, and she collides with his chest. Rhodey’s arms are wrapped around her in an instant, and she just cries. She cries over the unfairness of it all, over the tragedy that has befallen her. Pepper can’t help but wish that Tony had let someone else make the sacrifice this time, but she knows what he would say. He’d talk about his debt, his penance. Pepper hated it whenever he would talk like that. Had Tony not sacrificed enough? Not suffered enough for the people he claims to be repaying? Sometimes she wishes that Tony had never left that park, had never flown off into space to go save the world. It all just seems so unfair.

After she cries herself out, Pepper sits herself back down. Everyone is still mingling around her, but their voices sound muted, faraway. Pepper isn’t brought back to the present until a familiar face stands in front of her.

“Hello, Pepper.” Natasha Romanoff stands in front of her, a sad smile on her face. Pepper smiles weakly back. It’s nice to see another friendly face in the blurry crowd. Nat moves, sitting next to Pepper. “I’m sorry about Tony, Pepper. He was the best man I ever knew. I’ve met a lot of terrible people in my lifetime, but Tony has never been one of them, no matter how much he liked to think so.” Pepper nods, and she closes the gap between the two of them with a hug. Nat seems a little alarmed at first, but she quickly reciprocates.

“Tony admired you too, you know. He thought it was so honorable, changing your ways and trying to do good. He knew how hard it could be, to earn people’s trust.” Pepper pulls back, wiping gently at her wet eyes. Seeing Nat brings back a whole lot of memories.

* * *

\- Flashback -

_ Access Granted. Hello, Pepper Potts. _ Pepper walked through the security door and over to Tony, who was currently seated on his work stool. He was surrounded by images, images Pepper was sure he wasn’t privy to even know of. She stopped, right outside of the little bubble Tony had created around himself. She watched as he spun around, swiping, moving things, almost as if he was trying to connect a puzzle that had one too many pieces. After a minute or so, he finally noticed her, and he smiled. “Come here, Pep. Check this out.” Pepper obeyed, walking through the images and over to Tony. He moved so she could sit on his stool, and she did. “See this? Recognize that beautiful face?” He pulled a picture close to her, and zoomed in. Pepper gasped softly. It was Natalie. What was she doing in this picture, in  _ all _ of these pictures? “Pep,” Tony spun her slowly so she was facing him. “Natalie is a spy, for this organization named S.H.I.E.L.D. I think her real name is Natasha Romanoff. She’s been sent to watch over me, Pep. I think I’m a candidate for some sort of program for this shady organization.”

“You? A candidate?” Pepper had teased, but she believed him. That had been the first night Pepper learned about S.H.I.E.L.D., and also the first night she had learned about the Avengers Initiative. The one thing that would change Tony’s life forever, and he didn’t even know it yet.

They had talked for hours after that, discussing Nat and S.H.I.E.L.D., and even the Avengers. Tony had joked about being the leader, or being too much of a bad boy to even be accepted into their ranks. Later, he had confided in her, telling her that he didn’t believe he was enough of a hero to be an Avenger. She told him that that was nonsense. He didn’t have to be Captain America to be a hero. Tony could be his own version of a hero. He didn’t have to be picture perfect, and she didn’t want him to be.

\- End Flashback -

* * *

 

Nat sighs softly, “he always did see the best in me. I appreciate you both. You guys did a lot for me, made me want to be a better agent, a better person. Thank you for that.” Pepper nods, rubbing her hand up and down Nat’s arm, once, twice, before finally pulling away.

“It was good to see you, Nat. Take care of yourself.”

“I will, Pepper. You too.” Then she’s gone.

The rest of the funeral passes by in a flash. One minute, Pepper is shaking hands with everyone, and the next everyone is gone. The only people that still stand with her are Rhodey and Happy. Pepper is standing directly in front of Tony’s grave, staring down at the freshly laid dirt. It’s over. She made it through. She isn’t sure if she should feel grateful or not. Out of the corner of her eye, she sees Rhodey whisper something to Happy, probably about driving the car around, and then Happy is gone too. Rhodey comes up to stand silently beside her. He doesn’t say anything, and neither does she. Pepper knows that they’ll get in the car right now. They’ll drive away, and then Tony really will be gone. Pepper doesn’t know how to handle that. Tony had always been the constant in her life, and now he was gone. What would be her constant now?

* * *

\- Flashback -

“Do you want children, Ms. Potts?”

“Do you ask your male employees that?” 

Tony smiled at her quick response, and he chuckled. “No, I don’t. You’re the only one I’ve asked, actually. The exception, I suppose.” At his response, Pepper had stared at him, gaze analytical. Any normal man may have squirmed under it, withered, but not Tony. He simply stared back at her, an easy smile on his face. Then, he spoke again. “You’re hired, Ms. Potts. You start tomorrow.”

The years flew by, after that interview. Pepper fell more and more in love with Tony, and Tony fell in love with her. It had been the day before Tony left to fight Thanos when the topic of kids had come up again. Pepper was nursing a glass of wine, a book in her hand. Tony was on the opposite end of the couch, her feet in his lap. It had been a good night. Pepper remembered it with frightening clarity. Tony had been the one to bring it up again.

“I want kids, Pep.”

Pepper had immediately stopped what she was doing to look at Tony. He wasn’t looking at her, but she saw his hand absentmindedly rubbing at his chest where the arc reactor had been. The reactor had always been a sign of Tony’s mortality, and she knew that he was afraid of it being gone. Tony had often confided in her about things of that sort, about his fears. Pepper had listened attentively, wanting to help Tony as best as she could if he needed to be calmed down from a panic attack. Pepper didn’t always understand, but she had researched and was trying her absolute best to help Tony. He appreciated her efforts.

“Kids?” Pepper mulled the thought over. She had never been particularly driven to have kids, and, if she was being honest, she wasn’t sure how she’d feel about the whole pregnancy thing.

Tony finally looked at her. He lifted her feet off of his lap so he could scoot down the couch, be closer to her. “I would want to adopt, Pep. What do you think? I could be a stay at home dad. You could still be CEO. I would take care of the kid, whatever they would need.” Tony had stared at her, waiting her response. Pepper did like the picture Tony had painted. She definitely didn’t want to give up the company, and Tony would be a great father. Pepper had often woke to an empty bed and a text from Tony reading: went to the orphanage again; be back soon. She had always known Tony to be overly fond of kids. He already technically had Peter and Harley.

Pepper finally nodded. “A kid sounds amazing, Tony.” He had grinned, then, a grin so bright it had lit up the dim room. Tony leaned forward. They kissed. Pepper had never seen him so happy. She had thought that they had the world, then. How foolish.

\- End Flashback -

* * *

 

The night passed by uneventful. Happy had driven her and Rhodey home. She had undressed, crawled into bed, and laid there. She laid on her back and stared at the ceiling and she didn’t even cry. The only thing she could feel was numbness, and maybe a vague feeling of an idea. Pepper just kept thinking about her bad idea, thinking about what might happen if she just got up and left right now.

It took three hours, but she finally did get up. Pepper scrambled for some casual clothing, dressing quietly and quickly. She grabbed her phone, her wallet, and car keys. Sneaking out was a bit of a challenge. Rhodey was notoriously known for being an extremely light sleeper, but she made it. She supposes that she had Tony to thank for that. Pepper waits till she gets to the garage to text Rhodey about where she’s going. She tells him that she’s okay, but that there’s something she has to do. She tells him that she’ll be back before the morning ends.

Pepper drives to Little Flower Orphanage. Tony used to make regular donations here, and in return the caregivers would let him come in at night. He would come here to relax, to just hold the youngest babies as they slept peacefully in his arms. He used to tell Pepper about it all the time. When she knocks, a woman answers. She looks perplexed to see Pepper, and Pepper doesn’t blame her.

“Hello. I’m sorry for disturbing you. I’m Pepper.” The woman stares at her for a few more seconds until Pepper’s face finally seems to register in her brain.

“So you’re the mysterious Pepper Potts. Tony used to tell us about you all the time when he would come over. Come in, come in.” The woman opens the door a little wider, and Pepper quickly steps through the doorway into the warmth of the house. The house is warm, tidy, and much bigger than Pepper expected. “So did you come here to hold a baby? Tony often came here to do that. He said that it soothed him, reminded him that there were things worth saving on Earth.”

Pepper grins, feeling her heart squeeze at the story. “Actually, I came here to speak with you. I’d like to adopt a child. I know it’s crazy early in the morning, but I just couldn’t wait. Tony and I…” Pepper drifts off, swallowing hard. “We always wanted to adopt. We just never got the chance. I was thinking about adopting a little boy. Maybe around six or seven years old.” The woman led Pepper to the kitchen, and she sat Pepper down at the dining table as she made tea for the both of them.

“You’re just in luck, Mrs. Stark. We have a boy that fits that description exactly. His name is Anthony, too, actually.”

Pepper startles, “Tony? Wait, did you all attend the public funeral today by any chance?”

The woman smiles, “yes, we did. All of the children came. Anthony was there.”

“I met him. He… he came up to me, comforted me, offered his condolences. He looked so much like Tony that I had started to cry. He had hugged me, told me everything would be okay soon.” Pepper can’t believe it. She had thought that she would never see that kid again, and now here he was. It was almost like fate, divine intervention. Maybe Pepper was just delirious from lack of sleep, or grief, but it felt like something had pulled her and this little boy together. Maybe it was even Tony. Now that thought really tugged on her heartstrings, and she wiped furiously at the tears welling up in her eyes. The woman rushed forward, offering her tissue.

“Is everything okay, Mrs. Stark? I’m sure Anthony will be delighted to hear the news.”

“It’s nothing,” Pepper assures. “Something about this just feels like destiny, I guess.” Pepper had never believed much in destiny, not until she had met Tony, and even then her stock in it had been iffy. But now, well, now Pepper was certain that something had brought her to this orphanage, to this child. Tony, she thinks. You’ve always loved playing these games with me. Pepper smiles, sniffling a bit. I’ll be the best parent I can be. I promise. For you, Tony. Pepper takes the steaming cup of tea from the woman, and takes a careful sip. 

“So, where do we start?”

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you all enjoyed! Please leave me a comment and tell me what you think. This is my first time writing a fic from the perspective of Pepper, and actually just a Marvel fic in general. I am really, really sorry if you cried.


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